My big-ass nose.
I have finally learned to love her.
My nose has always been big, although I’ve definitely grown into her much more — thankfully. For almost all of my life until now, the thought of people seeing me talk or laugh from the side brought me endless torture.
I hated the way she curved when I smiled; I thought I looked like a witch.
I hated the way she stuck out so far beyond my lips and chin, like Phineas from Phineas and Ferb.
I hated the way my nostrils were so prominent and wearing sunglasses made my nose look like those on Groucho glasses.
As the years went on and I was forced to get used to myself, an almost friendship-like tolerance grew between my nose and me: I kind of liked her because she was ugly.
That was a step in a direction. Right or not, it was a step (if only my sixth-grade self could see me now).
Then, for my seventeenth birthday, I decided to get my nose pierced. My thought process was that, somehow, by embellishing my left nostril with a stud that made my nose the center of attention, I would actually counteract her prominence. Decorating my nose was a power move in my mind because she was already so obnoxiously big…
And it worked!
After the expected crisis that follows a big change in one’s appearance, there was rebirth: I wanted to look at my nose, and I wanted others to look at her too!
Throughout my big-nosed, uni-browed childhood (the unibrow is a story for another time), I thought my nose was so much bigger than she really was — as all insecurities tend to be hyperbolized. The mind is an evil magnifier.
I used the ability to love my nose as a measure of growth and maturity, inner-zen, if you will. I then applied this love to the rest of me: insecurities that used to drive me crazy and occupy my mind more than the people or conversation around me were now greeted with a shrug or, in the case of my nose, an unexpected hug.
My big-ass nose is Lebanese!
My big-ass nose is cool!
My big-ass nose gives me the gift of vividly scent-oriented memories!
Aside from my fortunate awakening that prominent features are truly a beautiful, defining aspect of any person’s visage, I also noticed just how skewed the singular perception of myself is.
You know how some days you just wake up gorgeous? Or one day, your body looks exactly how you always dreamed it would? How does this just happen overnight?
Nothing actually changed except your mindset.
This is a very prolific affliction for anyone in the fitness/gym world. Any given day, the perception of your body is determined by the success of your workout, the meals you’ve eaten, the mood you’re in, and so on.
Essentially, your perception is severely circumstantial (Duh. All perception is circumstantial, but especially in the body-image department, our eyes LIE).
Back to my main point: my love for my nose changes each and everyday. Sometimes I double-take in the mirror because my nose looks mighty fine at a certain angle. Oh, believe me when I say I eat these moments up and proceed to hungrily examine my seemingly “new” nose in the mirror.
Following the line of my profile as it melted into the rest of my face, acknowledging the magic behind my assembly of features, I finally become an outside observer of my own face. This mirror admiration curated a romantic view of myself as some sort of Renaissance painting or Greek goddess. I wondered, how did I ever hate this nose?
These are the moments I live for, and every blue moon that they decide to occur makes me promise to myself that I would strive to see my nose, and myself, in this light every day.
So here I tie together my messy spiel with a pretty bow: everything is mindset. Since our entire world revolves around the way our mind perceives things, and therefore our perception, why not simply adjust that perspective? Romanticize your insecurities. Romanticize your life. Add a dash romance to every ugly part of your life and watch yourself fall more in love with it all.
The moment I decided that I was actually OKAY with my certain “uglies,” they actually started to unfold quite beautifully to me. The cliché's weren’t wrong in saying that individuality and uniqueness is what adds beauty, flavor, texture, stories, intrigue, individuality, ART to life.
Next time you look in the mirror, don’t be so passive: stop and admire the expert manner in which you were molded for the world…
From me and my big-ass nose, thank you for reading and here’s a reminder that your ugliness is pretty beautiful.
